This Week’s Most Exquisite TV Moment

October 13-19
“Episode 8” | Sanditon

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We’re officially back in business with fall TV and so far, everything’s been utterly pleasing where this writer is concerned, but this week especially, I have not stopped thinking of the Sanditon finale since it’s aired and I’ve only rewatched it about 12 more times after that. (More, it’s definitely been more.)

First and foremost, I need you all to know that period dramas own my soul. That said, the slow but worthwhile progression of a Jane Austen love story is my absolute favorite because when it finally comes down to conversations between the pair we’re rooting for, it’s worth every pining moment — every dramatic event. There are plenty of moments throughout Sanditon’s finale that tug on the heartstrings, but I’m thinking blissfully about Sidney and Charlotte’s conversation on the balcony. And dare I say this might just be my favorite declaration after Mr. Knightley’s “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”

“I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I have never wanted to care for anyone but myself.” is as profound a declaration of love as the three official words could say. If this is just the first season, I can’t even imagine what will follow, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not ready for the emotions it’ll put me through it. (Just kidding, I’m 364% ready. Bring it. Give me season two stat.) There’s a great deal to be said about the bravery the affirmation conveys because such vulnerability coming from a man as jaded as Sidney promises far more than any ring ever could. And that’s essentially what makes me so hopeful for what’s to come. While words without actions can be insignificant, there’s still great prominence when the choice to be unreservedly sincere is coming from a man who’d long before promised never to love again. Sidney Parker, detached, damaged, despondent, made the conscious choice to give love one more try because the woman who stands before him brought a sense of indescribable purity back into his life — innocence and eagerness. The yearning to live beyond his needs in order to ensure that the best version of himself is worthy of her time and adoration. Any and all declarations take courage, there’s no questioning that, but it’s what he means that screams beyond the words he speaks. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for Charlotte, no ocean he wouldn’t cross, no deal he wouldn’t make, no place he wouldn’t go. At the end of the day, it’s all for her. It’s all for her because his sole ability to love again is entirely due to her goodness, her innate curiosity, and the fearlessness in which she alone challenges him with.

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It’s Personal: A Look into the Media We Consume

“Oh my God, you don’t watch __________? But why? You have to! It’s right up your alley. It’s this, it’s that. Oh my God, but it’s a So and So film! They’re the best in filmmaking! Oh, so, is this just gonna be a happy story? Pass. Boring. I just don’t watch movies unless they’re Oscar contenders.”

As an avid consumer of TV, film, literature, music, it often gets daunting living in a time where our opinions could be shared so quickly and easily. Send tweet. Done.  So now I suppose in order for this all to make sense, I should take you darling readers back to a few years ago. It’s fall 2013, I’m in my first ever creative writing class, it’s discussion time. When it comes to my piece, all I hear is things like “This is too happy”, “This growth is a cliche”, “May I suggest leaving at the character drowning without the rescue? The ambiguity will speak to readers more.” The thing is, I’m not a positive person by some miraculous genetic coding. In fact, if you ask anyone who’s known me as a kid, they might tell you that I always looked sad. I looked broken. That’s because for as long as I could remember, I’d been insecure. My mind has always raced too quickly for me to catch up with it and most of the time, I just let it.

Now, let’s take it back one more time to the ripe old age of 15 when I was clinically depressed but no one knew because no one was talking about mental health then. Why would a 15-year-old, perfectly healthy kid have trouble physically getting out of bed? Depression. And during that dark time where it felt like I was consistently drowning, unsure of how to even ask for help, I lost my father to a heart attack. Now if there’s one thing you absolutely need to know about me, it’s that I came from a loving, amazing family. I have and still am very close to my immediate family. Years of bullying and a whole lot of crap, immigration crisis with my mother at the age of 11. A tremendous health scare at 24. So yeah, my life has been anything but rainbows and butterflies, but at some point, I made the choice to look at this world through different lenses. I chose to look beyond my circumstances and I chose to imagine a world better than the one I was living in. Now if you ask me whether that’s the right way, I can tell you with 100% certainty that it is for me. Because that’s all we can really vouch for — ourselves. I can’t guarantee that this might work you, but I can speak with certainty that it worked for me. 

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